Weird, Science.

Weird Science is, actually and probably, one of the worst and most cheesiest (albeit classic) movies ever made, ever, even compared to other 80's movies. Regardless, there is a lot to be learned from this movie, and most of that can benefit the female sex with regard to dealing with the male gender. I recently wrote a blog entry about how men can best win the affection of women, but so little is written about the opposite, mostly because it has little to do with anything except beer and blowjobs.

The truth is, everything women need to know about men can be learned from watching this (otherwise horrible, honestly) movie. Here are the top 10, for your convenience:

10) We want to feel like you will do everything we tell you to. And even if you do, we're still going to want other chicks more who won't do anything we want them to.

9) We like it when you cook for us.

8) Dressing in a man's shirt (while cooking) is one of the most sexiest things a woman can do.

7) "I am shitting in my pants!" is one of Robert Downey Jr's best lines in a movie, ever.

6) Women with British accents are really, really, really hot.

5) We will never understand that people will like us for who we are, not for what we can give them. But at the same time, we just want you to like us for who we are, not for what we can give to you.

4) A woman who reiterates to other people that we don't stand for baloney is a keeper, even if she's a bit mannish. Or old enough to be someone's grandmother.

3) We want you to push us past our comfort zones by taking us to nightclubs in which we don't belong, throwing parties in our house even though it'll get us in trouble, and standing up to people (like our parents) who we, for whatever reason, can't stand up to. But we'll still fight bikers when push comes to shove.

2) Even if we create you by connecting a Barbie to a car battery and hacking into an Air Force mainframe, we're still going to be more interested in impressing the alpha guys in the room than you, even if you do (or are) everything else in this list.

1) A woman who's primary goal is to make us a better man by bringing out our self-confidence and courage is the best kind of woman in the world. But she probably used to be a Barbie hooked up to a car battery, brought to life by an Air Force mainframe.

Bonus Observations:

- Ilan Mitchell-Smith is a lame replacement for Matthew Broderick.

- Mesh shirts used to be bad-ass looking on dudes, in the 80's. Now, they just look gay.

- Missiles are funny because they are shaped like penises. Doubly so during the Cold War.