Ever notice how the British tend to convolute the English language even though they are the ones that created it? They seem to always say things a little bit screwily like "I've gone on holiday" or "I'm in hospital", like those little articles "an" and "the" that we brutish Americans tend to rely on so much aren't even important.
"Oh Poppycock!" I can imagine those Brits spewing, "Bloody hell man, we INVENTED the rotten language!"
See what I mean? "Bloody".
Simmer down there Bangers and Mash, nobody's getting bloody here. Let's not get hysterical, you weigh what, a buck 'oh five? Tops? And a word can't get "rotten". A tomato can get rotten. And "Tomato" isn't spelled with an "e" at the end, like "Potato" isn't.
And while we're at it, "spelled" is spelled "spelled" not "spelt".
Sheesh!
Truth is, I love me some good words. Some good use of language, even. I also love to bastardize it, like with run-on or partial sentences, sentences without subjects or action verbs, sentences with half meanings or implied context; overuse of the semi-colon and dash - taught as I was by the American Novel greats like Fitzgerald or Kerouac or even Bukowski, taught that repetition, when done well, works, and commas, when used properly, can extend meaning tenfold.
Today, however, it came to my attention that I tend to be a wee bit too wordy.
I was working on putting together the mission statement and vision for the company I am starting up with a partner, and at one point she interrupted me with laughter - as I was reading a sentence I was particularly proud of - saying: "We sound like 'blah blah blah blah'... I think we're taking ourselves too seriously..."
And she was right.
Truth is, we all have doubts about our work, whether we dabble in wordsmith or bricklaying or finger painting; we all wonder from time to time if someone else is just doing it so much better than we are that it's time to hang up the gloves and set upon something else if we're going to be successful at life.
This is human nature, and it's good. It's a reality check designed to promote and foster fairness and equity in the race towards the survival of the fittest.
As such, I've periodically read my work and subsequently gone into fits of depression and melancholy and self-loathing where I decide it's no longer worth pursuing because "nobody wants to read a book that's all narrative, and no quotes", or whatever thing it is that I am down about at the moment. Then I might happen to pick up "On The Road" or anything by Palahniuk and I think "maybe I've got a chance here, maybe I'm not so far off base..." and I pick back up where I left off.
Othertimes, however, we simply take ourselves too seriously. Like those damn Brits and their proper-speak, we can put way too much emphasis on this or that or the other thing, and lose sight of the fact that sometimes, plain English is what gets the job done.
The truth is, I can be too wordy. Sometimes it's wonderful, when it's flowery and poetic and fits, but usually I am wasting people's time by refusing to use contractions or describing something in 50 words when I could have used 5, like Ayn Rand or Tolstoy. Or (gasp) Tolkien.
It's all about time and place. Today, we finished our work on our new company's Mission and Vision statements by wording them as if we were speaking to a 10 year old. Which worked, especially because core to our company values are simplicity and keeping focused.
And what I learned, or what I've always known intuitively but need constant reminding of, is that there is a time for poetry, and a time to just say what you mean so that a kid can understand you. And ironically, sometimes it's harder to talk to a 5th grader than an adult.
Today, however, we didn't drop the articles in our sentences, like those damnable English. Those we kept. Because "a" doesn't count much towards your word count, so there's no point in pruning it...
Disclaimer: I really do love the English and am jealous of how they talk. They do tend to be skinny though, don't they?
No comments:
Post a Comment